Sometimes, being a wife and mother is a thankless job. And it is a job...actually, it is two different, yet equally busy and demanding jobs. I feel like I am always needed....this isn't necessarily a bad thing...it's just that I get tired.....even the cat gets needy. I guess that sometimes I get lonely in these wife / mother roles. The "encouragement / gratitude / appreciation" is seriously lacking. I can deal with this usually because not everyone is raised the same way as I was, with an awesome mom (or parents if you will) who gave / gives genuine praise and encouragement with the things that I was / am working towards....and who shows her appreciation both through her actions and verbally. I get that this doesn't happen in all families. But I miss this. This is one of the main reasons why I miss my family and friends back home.....I miss their support and love and hearing "you are a good mom" or "you are doing a great job" once in awhile.......or something to that effect. I miss having people around who really know me and can help me recognize the qualities about me that make me ME - aside from my different roles.

My in-laws are geographically closer to me right now than my family and friends back home....but, well.....they are different people. They are nice, but they basically don't take much of an interest in me as a person....I mean they don't know much other than things I have shared with them because they have really never asked me many questions in order to get to know me. They all kind of do their own thing. They never call us (me and A) here unless there is some kind of a family problem. Only 2 of A's sisters Skype us once in awhile. It is sad really because they barely know Bethany and Bethany barely knows them, but it is their choice. Oh I could write them Christmas cards and send them pics of Bethany on behalf of the 3 of us - and maybe they expect me to do this since this is what my sister-in-law would do (she married into the family a couple of years ago) but I barely know them that well and I already did cards etc. for my family and friends and I don't think that it is my responsibility. (A said that he would do it........right.....)

So, this is me and my feelings lately. Bethany has been sick with a fever on and off for the past 24 hours or so and now Andrew is telling me that he isn't feeling well (he HAS been burning the midnight oil studying for his exam which he took today and still working full-time) so I've been extra busy with people needing my attention. I am teaching youth Sunday School - the 14 and 15 year olds this year and I am less than enthused about it. The kids are nice, but they are so chatty (I know that it is the age) and no matter how much time I spend preparing my lesson I feel like we don't really get very far with it every Sunday because of the chatter. It's frustrating and I wish now that I had a different calling. Trying not to be negative but this how I feel. Anyway, sorry for this "low" post. Just need to express how I feel to the blog world. Maybe it's the pregnancy that is causing my discouragement....who knows.