So for the past I don't even know how long I've been feeling like I have kind of lost myself...like I don't even know where my interests are anymore and I don't seem to ever have time for them. I been feeling like this since before Bethany was born so it's been a long time...maybe about a year or so. I've been so "occupied" being a wife and working and then carrying a baby and then being a mother that I feel like I never have time for myself (and I don't mean having a shower or going to bathroom or getting groceries / running errands sans baby). I feel like I can't do this anymore....I can't "not" have time for myself anymore because I feel like I don't even know who I am. I love being a mother and I love being a wife but I guess that I need time to do something that I enjoy - something just for me. I feel like I don't get much support with getting time for myself either. I always have to ask and then it always seems like things have to work around someone else's schedule. Yeah...I know that this is a vent but I need to get it all out because it has been on my mind a lot. Sorry. These are things that I like to do. I'm going to list them because I also need to get them out. I like riding my bike. Before I started teaching last year and before I was prego I was getting pretty good at it and I was getting in good "bike shape". I like reading. I like birdwatching. I like swimming. I'm not particularly good at it but I like it. I like art - I like painting and drawing and when I let go of the negative "I'm not a good artist....." thoughts that sometimes creep into my mind I love what I produce. I like sand. This sounds weird but I've always loved playing with sand as a kid and I still like playing with it with kids. I would love to make a huge sand creation some day and if there was some kind of art skill that involved sand I would be there. I love music. I love playing the piano and I miss it greatly. I wish that I had a keyboard even to practice on. I love people watching. I love history. So these are some of the things that I love. Thanks for bearing with me with this post. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am more than just a mom and a wife...that I have my own talents and abilities and that I need to take time to create and do things that I enjoy.