Saturday in vic

Well it is noonish and so far I am still at Laine's place. I slept in only to be fully awakened by my phone ringing. It was R who phoned and as per usual did not leave a message. I got up and called him back. It was a weird phone call. It was kind of awkward. I don't think that I sounded awkward on the phone but he sure did. I had thought that he had wanted to get together to talk as he had written in the email that he sent me a couple of weeks ago, which was the main reason why I was calling him back - it seemed like he was making an effort to contact me so I felt that I should do the same. Well, when I called him he made some small talk about going to the museum today and I told him that my sis and I were spending the day together because she works tonight. He said that if I was looking for something to do tonight that there was a dinner and talent show at church tonight and that he wasn't sure if he was going but he would probably end up going because he and his friend "Ritchie" had done some filming for a movie and he was in it. He also asked if I was going to church tomorrow (I said no) and then after some more small talk he thanked me for calling and said that he would talk to me some other time. And this was the phone call.

So, how do I feel about it some of you may wonder? Well, it was kind of weird because I had thought that he wanted to talk to me, but he made it seem like I was calling him because I needed to find something to do or because I wanted to hang out with him (completely not the case). I only called because I felt that it might be nice to make an effort. So what are my thoughts you ask? To be completely honest, I really just don't care anymore. I made some effort and he declined to act upon what he had said that he wanted to do (which is typical of him....he says one thing yet his action - or lack therof - proves otherwise) so be it.

I am inclined to think that the only reason he wanted to get together with me in Vancouver to "apologize in person" is because he doesn't know anyone else there to hang out with. He is that type of person...oh he will apologize, but it seems that he does it for his own benefit and not because he actually cares about me. And then he will try to "smooth" things over by being funny or making a joke out of things. Thanks but no thanks. I don't need or want people like that in my life. I feel like he used me last year and I called him on it and I think that he knows that I am right which is why he chose to take the "safe" way "out" for him by just not saying anything. And then he suddenly emails me out of the blue two weeks ago to apologize and want to get together in person? And then when I call him here he gets all weird? Whatever. Good bye and good riddance. I don't hate the guy but I don't want to be friends with him either. He is very selfish and I don't need anyone like that in my life. I'd rather surround myself with friends and people who I know love and care about me.

There, this my rant. No more talks about R. I just needed to write how I felt and get it all out. Thanks for hearing me out. And, I have no intention of going to this talent show or dinner tonight even though my sis is working. Even if I wanted to go, being in that environment with no one that I know would make me feel anxious and I do my best to avoid situations that bring on anxiety.

Ok, so this morning Laine and I got Wilbur set up and took some funny pics of him. Karey you are going to laugh at some of them! I can't remember where I put my Wilbur's Wanderings page though.....can you help me find the address? Stayed tuned for more of an update of my day!