Thanksgiving

Well, it is Sunday evening and I am about to head to bed because I need to take an early ferry home tomorrow. We just came back from having Thanksgiving dinner at Erin and Brock's. I didn't see the girls because they were at their Dad's but Evan was there of course. Cute kid! So quiet but cute! It was good to see that Venosha is still lively too and I pet their new Daschund puppy (Annie) but I stayed away from the chiuaua (I don't like him). Thanksgiving dinner was nice at Erin's. They have a really cozy house and it is so nicely decorated. The food was wonderful and Jaquie made some mean pumpkin pies - tasteee!

And now I have to get ready and leave again tomorrow morning....sigh....my weekends here are always so short and though it has been great to be here and see people I feel like I haven't really had any "down time". I'm feeling a little bad too because I haven't spent much time with Jaquie and Simon and today mom was talking to Jaquie about me going to church and....well.....I'm not embarrassed about it and it is not something that I try to hide, but, well, Jaquie is new to the family and I just get hesitant talking about church stuff in front of the family because I'm afraid that people will treat me differently....like they will be nervous to be around me because they are afraid that they will say something that will offend me, or that they will just be "weird" around me because they won't know what to say.........sigh..........I guess that I can't control what people think or how they act, but I wish that people would just be normal around me - especially my family. I mean ya, so I go to church and I choose to live my life a certain way, but I am still "me"......I'm still "Leash". I find that my family (i.e. cousins etc.) are "weird" around me a lot. I hope that Jaquie doesn't feel that way too. I'd like to spend more time with her and get to know her better. She is awesome and I'm glad that she is part of our family.

I went to church today here in Nanaimo and I sat with Laura's mom. It was so, so nice to see her again and to have her give me a hug. It made me feel good and loved and it also helped me to not feel so anxious. The people who spoke gave talks about the family and they were both really good. Family is important and I am grateful for my own. I am grateful to be where I am.

So, I'm feeling a little sad right now...maybe also because I am tired but perhaps also because they weekend is almost over and I have to go home and get back to my busy and crazy life. I've been thinking this weekend about why things happen certain ways, and why God allows certain things to happen, and the different lessons that he teaches each one of us. I've also been thinking about the role that I play (and have played) in certain people's lives.....what gifts or talents do I bring to other people......how do I help others? It is not always clear to me but I guess that there is a reason for everything.

Anyways since it is thanksgiving I wanted to say that I am thankful for my family and my house and for the ocean and trees and for growing up in Lantzville. I am thankful for my friends and those who love me, I am thankful for ARchie and Izzy and Razja and for good food to eat and I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful for many things.